Bella Goes To Hogwarts
by SpirkTrekker42
Summary: ExB. Harry Potter/Twilight crossover. This is my take on what would happen if Bella went to Hogwarts and met Cedric Diggory. Will romance blossom? Or will she stay true to Edward?


Disclaimer: Twilight sure as heck is not mine. It's Stephanie Meyer's.

A/N: This is so much more fun than schoolwork.

_Bella Goes to Hogwarts_

Bella Swan came home from a long day of school to her cozy little home in Forks. Surprisingly, instead of being down at the police station, Charlie was there waiting for her.

"You received a rather unusual letter today," he said. Before Bella could ask what he meant, her father shoved an odd little envelope into her hands. She quickly tore it open, making note of the address written in beautiful, precise script that seemed almost old-fashioned to her. Could it be? Was it another love note from Edward?! But, alas, it was not Edward's handwriting. The person who sent her the letter went by the name of Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Bella's eyes grew wide as she digested the contents of the letter.

"What does it say?" Charlie asked at last when she put the letter down.

"It saya, that I am, in fact, a witch," Bella informed him with a grin. "They've accepted me into their school of magic, even though I'm seventeen and the rest of the students must be eleven. Dumbledore said he made an exception with the age rule just for me!"

"So are you going to go or what?" Charlie wondered. Bella just stared at him.

"You're okay with this?"

"Absolutely," Charlie nodded. "You'll be thousands of miles away from that no-good boyfriend of yours. I couldn't be happier. We'll leave in the morning."

"Oh, thank you Charlie!" Bella exclaimed, throwing her arms around her father in jubilation. "You're the best." And with that, she ran upstairs to pack. As she drifted off to sleep that night, Bella vowed to find a way to sneak Edward into the school while she was attending.

-*-

_At Hogwarts_

It had been a long journey but Bella had (somehow) arrived at Hogwarts in one piece. She was immensely proud of herself for not breaking any bones or developing any contusions. It was a personal best record for her as far as injuries went. Just hours ago she had said goodbye to Charlie at King's Cross Station before she boarded the train on platform 9 and ¾ which would transport her directly to Hogwarts.

When the train arrived in Hogsmeade, Bella was lumped in with the first years and had to make the traditional journey across the lake in boats. All of the young students stared at her curiously, but they didn't ask her any questions. That was fine with Bella – she was content to daydream about Edward and scheme about how to sneak him into Hogwarts to visit her.

All too soon, the boats drifted over to the other side of the lake. Bella gasped with wonder – before her loomed this gigantic, massive ancient castle structure. She was quickly ushered inside with the rest of the first years by Hagrid. Professor McGonagall met them inside, and had the new students line up alphabetically by last name for the sorting ceremony. She wished them well, and suddenly the doors to the Great Hall burst open. One by one, the first years plus Bella filed inside. The threadbare sorting hat immediately called out,

"Ambrose, Cordelia." Poor Cordelia Ambrose walked to the front of the dining hall and stuck the hat on her head with shaking fingers.

Bella calmly watched the ceremony progress. She felt no nervousness at all, for she was certain that Dumbledore wanted her there, therefore it didn't matter which house she got sorted into. She was just thankful to be there – this place was so much cooler than her high school back in Forks! As she continued to watch the sorting, it seemed to her that the students were sorted into four houses – Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. But Bella noticed a fifth table of students, all female, off to the side near the back of the hall. They certainly didn't seem to belong to any of those houses. But her thoughts about the table in the back fled when her name was called.

"Swan, Bella." Grinning, Bella made her way up to the sorting hat and placed it on her head.

"Hmm," the hat muttered. "Another one, eh? Well there's only one house for you." Bella's heart leapt – she was sure she was about to be sorted into Gryffindor, which was obviously the best house.

"Sparklypoo!" The hat cried. Nobody moved, not even Bella. She just stared at the Hogwarts staff with a puzzled expression on her pretty average (or was it average pretty?) face.

"Sir, perhaps the hat made a mistake," Bella suggested hopefully. "I think it meant to say that I was in Gryffindor."

"No, I'm afraid not, my dear." Dumbledore gave her an apologetic smile, and then averted his gaze. "It's Sparklypoo House for you."

"OMG Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" Suddenly, the table at the back of the room erupted with applause and praise for Bella. As if in a trance, Bella made her way back to the throng of screaming, crying, hugging, teenage girls. One of the girls rushed over to Bella before the others could reach her. She shoved any of her overeager housemates out of the way, determined to be the first from Sparklypoo to meet their new arrival.

"Welcome to Sparklypoo House," said Mary Sue Diana Pearl Lilac Brianna April Jade Evenstar Rhiannon Tulip Belle Sky Moonflower . "You're going to love it here!" Bella frowned, because the girl sounded really perky. She reminded Bella of some of the cheerleaders back in her high school. Why on earth was she sorted in to this house of freaks? Wait… _Sparkly_poo? Maybe… just maybe… should she dare to hope?!?!

"Is this the house for vampires?" Bella asked, confused.

"Oh no," giggled her new acquaintance. "This house is for Mary Sues. You'll fit right in here, I'm sure."

"But I'm not a Mary Sue," Bella said quickly. "Ugh," she muttered as she watched the Sparklypoo housemates fight over who got to spike Cedric Diggory's pumpkin juice with a love potion. "I'm nothing like those guys. I'm not that shallow - in fact, refuse gifts from my really rich boyfriend on a regular basis. I'm not graceful and poised - I'm rather clumsy at times. And I don't care about my looks."

"Ah," sighed Mary, shaking her head. "It seems you are the worst kind of Mary Sue imaginable – you're a Mary Sue in denial."

"No way," Bella protested, all the while wishing that Edward would magically appear and save her from this dreadful place. Of course, no one can apparate inside Hogwarts Castle, but that's beside the point.

"You are," Mary insisted. "Since you refuse expensive gifts, you think you are more selfless than everyone else."

"Well, I…" Bella winced.

"You're always daydreaming of your perfect boyfriend every free second you have."

"Maybe," Bella admitted.

"Your clumsiness does nothing for you as you use it to play the helpless damsel in distress."

"But I –"

"And don't even tell me you don't care about your looks," said Mary, rolling her eyes. "Every girl cares about her looks."

"I don't! I hardly ever wear make-up even," Bella protested.

"Ah, a Mary Sue posing as a natural, normal girl," sigh Mary. "Like I said, you're the worst kind. Now come along and meet the rest of the girls." After enduring countless of painful introductions – Bella's ears rang thanks to all the squealing – she found out she'd been picked to spike Cedric Diggory's glass with love potion as an initiation test.

"Fine," Bella sighed in agreement. "Which one is Cedric?" Mary pointed to a very handsome boy with unnaturally pale skin who was sitting at the Hufflepuff table.

"He's the gorgeous one," swooned another Sparklypoo girl. "Look, he's standing up right now!"

Bella strode across the hall with the vial of amorentia in her pocket, intent on doing the deed. But when she reached Cedric's table, she realized that this boy Cedric looked_ exactly_ like Edward! He'd found a way to rescue her after all!! Cedric must just be his alias, Bella rationalized.

"Edward," she called, tapping the boy on the back. "Edward, it's me!!"

"I'm sorry?" Cedric turned around to face a girl who he'd never seen before. She was indeed strangely beautiful, but she had nothing on his girlfriend, Cho. "Do I know you?"

"Do you know me?" Bella cried. "Is this some sort of joke? Because if it is, it's not funny, Edward."

"My name isn't Edward," said Cedric, sounding irritated. "Who the hell are you, anyway?"

"It's me, your girlfriend Bella!" She answered.

"You're not my girlfriend," said Cedric, shaking his head. "My girlfriend is sitting right over there." He pointed over to the Ravenclaw table and Bella followed his gaze to a pretty Asian girl.

"Hi," said Cho Chang, who waved merrily at Bella before returning to her conversation.

"So you see, you aren't my girlfriend," said Cedric. "I can't believe you actually thought that I'd be interested in a Mary Sue!!" He started to chuckle, and Cho, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, McGonagall, Dumbledore, and even Snape joined in.

"Wahhhhh," sobbed Bella. She ran back to the Sparklypoo table to sulk.

-*-

That night, when Bella was alone in her bed in the Sparklypoo tower, she decided that she could get used to living here. The girls in her house did look up to her for guidance, which was kinda cool. After all, it's not every day that you get worshipped by mindless teenage girls. It was a good confidence boost for Bella's shattered self-esteem. She tried to tell herself that it wasn't so bad – she did get to learn magic instead of sweating it out in boring old high school classes. And she was certain that she could find a way to sneak Edward into the castle when he came to visit. Because he _was_ on his way to see her - Edward had amazing stalker powers like that. Bella fell asleep eventually, dreaming of the day that Edward would make her a vampire so she would finally be a Mary Sue in true form.

The End

A/N: TURROW RULES SUPREME!! P.S. At 12:01 tonight I will be in my bed, asleep. Excellent.


End file.
